It’s been a long while since I posted my last journal. Life’s been busy and lazy. I have too many things to do and vice versa. Where am I going anyway?
Glee is hitting Malaysian shore by storm. It is a story of a group of younger generations who seems to be struggling with their own selves while trying to fit themselves in with the other younger generations. And yeah the setting goes in a well clichéd college life. Everyone loves college life…
Mom used to say, “You can watch the TV but don’t just watch it. Learn something from it.”
With that in mind, I can see why I can’t relate myself with the show. I am sweat although by all mean no beauty, I have a good career and a nice car. I enjoy travelling and making new acquaintances. But I seem to be intimidated by other’s success. My success is not successful enough. Sometime it’s hard for me to fit in without ever thinking that everyone else is gazing at me with bad remarks playing in their heads.
I was by chance invited to this post-chinese-new-year dinner party last month and the moment I came through the door, I was quickly stricken by the amount of success in the crowd. I was introduced to a successful famous-as-seen-on-tv bakery owner, a successful architect who happened to have been designing the amazing house that I was in, a well off and successful photographer and the list went on. Noted the successful words I’m using? Yes they are all successful. Very successful damn it!
So you can imagine what kind of pressure I was in at that moment. My mind is busy recalculating how much success I’ve been making over the past 28 years of my mediocre life and how much money I’ve been saving which I later spent to repair my so call nice car?
Do I fit myself well with the crowd?
I felt intimidated…
But of course I was lucky as no one threw ice-blended wish-was at me that night. Not that I was asking for it. Everyone was super nice. Asking my name and calling me names, nice name actually, as they can’t really pronounced my name well. Funny...
Anyway, I've gained much felicity that night and thought I need to do something with my life. But dream without a plan is just a dream.
What should I do?
Your very truly,