November 22, 2009

Of the flood and the monsoon

“The rain never stop one!” said my manager indistinctly as he strapped himself on the seat. It has been raining forever since I came to Relai. The roads became soggy and much of the daily operation retarded. Hell!

Last Friday, my manager and I went to Kota Bharu for our final budget discussion at the Renaissance. I was excited of course to be in KB again after my first visit, but that excitement soon died down as I have to be in the discussion room well till the very late hours on Saturday afternoon! Of course we went out for some late supper and breakfast at the Hayaki Kopitiam, but I was so sleepy and exhausted to enjoy the food and err… the people. Hehe...

After much deliberations and cheek slapping in the discussion room, we finally summed it all up and called it a day. And guess what? It was still raining cats and dogs outside. “There goes your Kopok Losong Hidney,” said my manager. I asked him about Kopok Losong when we were on our way to KB, but he couldn’t make any comprehensible explanation to it thus promised to show me what that is after our budget discussion. “I hate monsoon,” he continued.

It was already 5 pm and I was asleep as our red Trooper cut trough the heavy downpour back to Gua Musang. I tried to resist myself from sleeping as I thought that would be shitty rude as my manager was still wide awake and schmoozing about the monsoon. But I guess Pak Man; the driver can accompany him in his unceasing utterance. He always does.

But I soon realised that we were not moving at all after we reached Kuala Krai. We were in a very heavy gridlock. Before us, the flood has been gushing on the road thus making it impossible for the traffic.

“Should we turn back to KB Tuan?” Asked Pak Man.

“Hell no! I rather wait here,” said my manager. I completely understand him you see. It’s been a long day and going back to KB would only mean total suicide.

“Do you think you can do it? I don’t think the flood is high enough,” he soon suggested.

Now that’s total suicide! The road was totally submerged and the flood was flowing profusely. “I think we should wait sir,” I quietly suggested.

He ignored me totally. Perhaps its because of the lack of confidence in my voice. “Go for it!” He announced.

Pak Man briefly looked at me and gave me his sullenest smile ever. “You heard him. Go for it,” I said as I prepared myself for the worst; winding my window down.

I saw some water sipping in trough the door as we move through the flood. At the same instant, the engine started to die down. “Step on it!” My manager and I said simultaneously.

The engine started to hum desperately. I was completely on all fours on my seat, ready to jump out of the moving car should anything happen. A few amazingly-long minutes later, we’ve made it to the other side of the mayhem. I can hear some people cheering us up, perhaps applauding for our stupidity.

“I told you so,” said my manager triumphantly.

And so, I lived to tell you this story…

I’MNOSUPERMAN: Would you obey if your boss asks you to eat the tahi?

November 20, 2009

Air Babylon

Have you ever gazed onto a group of people at the airport where the girls are displaying some serious swaging actions and the guys are equally sturdy and all of them are wearing some sort airline uniforms? You might be, in the same minute, wishing that you are one of them or befriend with them, to the least. They are the trolley-dollies, the crème de la crème of well seasoned travellers and they live the life of a superstar, well maybe one notch lower than Celine Dion, and get to travel to places we’ve dream of. Admit it or not, we all do. We fantasized about them all the time.

But actually, those are less than perfect true fiction itself. Similarly they are like us, hoping that they never had that kind of life and be a commoner instead, sitting lordly in that First Class section of A380 and be served with top-of-the-rack champagne and scrumptious little edible thing called canapés.

I've been reading Air Babylon by Imogen Edwards-Jones recently and it was all there, the thing that I’ve mentioned earlier; the expose of fascinating life at 35,000 feet above the sea level.

You’ll be very amazed with the amount of information you’ll discover on the otherwise closely-kept trade secrets of the airline industry from this narration of a young Airport Duty Manager, working with a low-budget imaginary airliner based in UK. You can expect some dramas and most definitely some teary laughs along the way as you learn the arcanum behind the check-in counters, random elicit sex happening around the airport’s toilets and the black humours behind the curtains that divides the steerages from the First and Business class.

Once you’ve done with your reading, you will understand why I strongly recommend this book to those who travel a lot. And remember, it pays to be polite and easy with the airline people. You don’t want your steak to be wiped on the toilet’s brim before it actually handed over to you on a 6 hours flight across the Atlantic don’t you? Yeah… think about it.

I’MNOSUPERMAN: Still, I hate turbulence!

November 14, 2009

It's my notion

Dear anonymous,

You can say what ever you want to say. Go ahead, I won't charge you a penny. After all it's a free world. We have all the possible rights in the world. Go ahead and wank yourself crazy...

Anything that I inked here are totally free of any obligation. My notions are totally mine and I chose to express it in a healthy way through my writings thus creating this online journal. Like I said, its a free world and you shall not be obligated by any of my expression. Nonetheless, you can read and enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and of course you have the option of not reading it and move on with your life. Go ahead...

Hey hey I'm just a human. My shit stinks. I sometime laugh in agony and sometime I shed some tears. I have to admit that I sometime loose myself and bitch. I can't help it. Well, as far as I concerned, no one died so far.

Anyway anonymous, I've said enough. You can either curse me or curse your own self now. But I believe it won't be the later one. Go ahead and I wish you a good life ahead. Be good now...

P/s: Don't worry. I never took you and your angry words seriously. I'm not the broken one. You are...

Yours truly,
(Hopefully your mother)

November 12, 2009

2012


Tadi aku nonton the most anticipated 2012 kat wayang. Well I can basically and almost definitely describe the movie in just 2 words- TOO MUCH!

Firstly, I so don't expect to see the use-to-be oh-so-flamboyant Chiwetel Ejifor a.k.a Lola of Kinky Boots to be oh-so-macho there in the first 5 minutes of the movie. I tell you, I can almost see him bitching around and slap Oliver Platt silly on his forehead for his cruel decision making skills, which mengingatkan aku dengan mantan GM aku di Bintulu dulu. Urghhh...

Where was I? Right... 2012... Jalan ceritanya memang best for the first few minutes of it. I mean the special effects are just phenomenal. Tapi lepas tu ceritanya mula mengarut-ngarut dengan garapan logik yang terlalu longgar. How can an airplane fly smoothly through a volcano dust as if the dust is nothing? I mean I'm no pilot and the only airplane I fly is my RM99 Air Asia's A330 1:400 to scale, but I know for the fact that any airplane, I repeat ANY airplane including yang BAPAK kau punya will not fly in any volcano dust. Hello... It's in Air Crash Investigation: British Airways Flight 9 kat National Geografic Channel ok. Duhhh!

Anyway, banyak lagi yang nak komen but I rather not. Tu jer lah.

Too much...

Later!

I'MNOSUPERMAN: Aku bagi 8/10 sebab aku suka special effectnya.

November 11, 2009

I'm exist!

We were created by trillions of trillions of drifting atoms that had somehow assembled in an intricate and curiously obliging manner. It was a very specialized arrangements that is has never been attempted before and will only exist this once. That's my friend how we existed!

I'MNOSUPERMAN: We're in this together somehow. So suck it all up!

November 9, 2009

Nok gaduh!

I was on my motorsikal bila tiba-tiba sebuah motorsikal lain datang memecut laju dari arah bertentangan. Mungkin penunggang tu tak expect aku berada dilaluan yang sama menyebabkan dia tak dapat mengawal motorsikalnya lalu terbabas melanggar tebing.

Aku pun dengan segeralah menghulurkan bantuan. Karang mati orang tu, aku pulak yang susah.

"Maah tuwe*. Nok gaduh! Tuwe ok?" katanya terkocoh-kocoh dalam loghatnya yang maha pekat.

"Eh eh nak gaduh pun kena minta maaf dulu ker?" getusku. Sopan sungguh orang-orang Kelantan ni.

"Nok gaduh tuwe. Nok gaduh!" katanya lagi.

Aku tambah buntu. Nak aku layankah atau nak aku lempangkan ajer orang tu? Nanti kalau aku lempang, ada pulak yang sakit hati, kata aku ni terlalu mix-up dengan masalah tempat kerja dan tak cukup cantik untuk marah-marah, kannnnn!

But of course eventually I found out that NAK GADUH dalam bahasa Kelantan maknanya NAK CEPAT. Perghh buat suspen jer.

* Maafkan saya wahai tuan yang bijaksana lagi maha baik hati.

I'MNOSUPERMAN: I so need budu and bulu mata palsu right now...

November 8, 2009

Sekadar menulis weh!

Kalau dulu aku selalu merungut setiap kali aku bertugas pada hari ahad. Since that I'm working 6 days a week, hari ahad adalah satu-satunya hari yang membolehkan aku untuk melakukan aktiviti bebas tanpa perlu memikirkan hal-hal kerja. Ahad is basically my lazy day.

But now that I'm in Kelantan, I have no choice but to work on sunday. Aku perlu bangun seawal jam 6 pagi dan balik pukul 5 petang- 4 kali sebulan, 12 bulan setahun. TIADA PENGECUALIAN!

Jumaat lepas aku ke Kuala Lumpur untuk menghabiskan hujung mingguku. The sceneries along the way from Gua Musang to KL are to die for, membuatkan perjalanan yang 3 jam itu tidak terasa jauhnya. But some people literally choose to die with the scenery. Berikut adalah pix yang sempat aku tangkap di laluan Merapoh-Kuala Lipis. Minta-minta aku dijauhkan dari perkara-perkara macam tu. Al-fatihah untuk si pemandu...

I'MNOSUPERMAN: Malang memang tak berbau...

November 5, 2009

Aksi badut di hari pertama

Jam menunjukkan pukul 6.15 pagi dan aku telah usai bersiap, menghirup secawan teh panas sambil melontar pandanganku jauh ke kompleks pejabat yang tidak berapa jauh dari rumahku. Pukul 6.40 pagi nanti aku akan bergerak ke situ, untuk rutin muster* pertamaku di tanah Kelantan.

6.40 pagi, aku telah terpacak di tapak muster East, memerhati setiap wajah yang bakal aku kenali dengan lebih lanjut nanti. Beberapa meter di sebelah kiriku, ada dua lagi kelompok muster; North dan South.

"Kita berasa amat bertuah hari ini kerana kita telah mendapat seorang Senior Assistant baru," ucap salah seorang pegawai yang bertugas, memperkenalkan aku dengan serba ringkas kepada pekerja-pekerja yang ada. Aku melangkah naik ke pentas kecil yang telah disediakan dan mula memberikan ucapan pengenalanku.

Aku berucap agak panjang. Mungkin juga ada yang tidak selesa, tapi aku tak peduli. Aku mahu mereka tahu yang aku datang ke sini untuk bekerja seraya memikul tanggungjawab yang telah diamanahkan kepadaku.

Sedang asyik aku berucap, Tuan Mat Zan; Pengurus baruku datang dan berbisik, "Kau dah silap tempat ni Hidney. Patutnya kau muster kat North."

Aku mulai gugup. Terkocoh-kocoh aku menamatkan ucapanku, "Untuk pengetahuan anda semua, saya akan ditugaskan di North dan saya gembira mengenali anda semua."

Aku berjalan agak pantas meninggalkan kelompok muster East, tidak aku menoleh lagi...

*Muster = Proses mengambil kehadiran pekerja ladang.

I'MNOSUPERMAN: Yakin itu penting. Tapi biarlah bertempat.

November 2, 2009

This is it...

It was November 1st 2009, the day that I came to a small estate in Gua Musang, named Relai. It’s fairly a good estate on the first few glimpses with terrains and valleys, quite similar to what I use to have in Damai Estate. But I believe it will help me to shine through thus unleashing my whole potential in this new company of mine.

As I have been working and dwelling in a remote area for the past 6 years, I’m confident that I can survive all the hoo-hah that Relai will throw at me along the way. But it proves me wrong. Relai is not just remote. It's VERY remote! I can't even use my cell phone and totally no access to the internet. My only option of keeping my sanity and connect to the outside world is to drive down to Gua Musang, which is just (?) 32 minutes away.

The town of Gua Musang too doesn't excite me much. Everyone is not in a hurry and it seems that the town is stuck in the 90's... Literally. But it’s relieving to see full-scale fully-stocked refrigerated cabinets in Econjaya, the only SUPERmarket in town. Oh how I miss that sensation of pushing a shop-cart and taking pictures like no one business with Ethan in Bintulu's very own New World Mart.

The Gua Musangians are very nice though, even when most of them stared at me as if they were sizing me up for some unknown agenda when I walk around in SHORTS. I soon realized that I am now in a state that upholds religion as its way of living where everyone should really 'behave'.

1 day is now gone. A few more years, months, weeks and days are remaining till the day that I have to leave for a new adventure in a new territory. In the mean time, I’ll try to adore my Relai and my Gua Musang in its full glory... In LONG PANTS!

I'MNOSUPERMAN: I miss Bintulu…
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