June 29, 2009

Kita cakap sebab kita tak tahu

My uncle used to be an Estate Manager sometime in 1995. But after a few years, he resigned and joined a marketing company. The whole family mocked him piteously. "Elok-elok gaji besar, dapat rumah free, api air tak payah bayar, berhenti kerja pulak. Bodoh... Tolak rezeki!"

Well, that was 14 years ago. I'm now in his shoe and I know how it feels.

Last week in Sabah, a manager and his team were pink-slipped by one of our operational director. He claimed that the team was not performing well. Next week he'll be visiting the estates here in Sarawak and everyone is working like crazy to save their own pity arse. No one wanted to be part of that brainsick statistic. The pressure is immense…

Perhaps my uncle has been experiencing the same pressure when he was a manager and he chose to quit. As to whether the decision made was stupid or wise, I think he know its better.

I hope no one will judge me for whatever decision I will make. I am quitting my job. I will quit...

I'MNOSUPERMAN: You can work laboriously from dawn to dusk, trying to make sure everything is in order. But working as a team can be difficult when someone decided to play passenger.

June 28, 2009

Tolong...

Aku jongkong yang lohong,
Di suatu lorong,
Lorong yang kosong,
Terlolong meraung tolong.

Aku maung yang kancung,
Berwajah cengkung bermata gaung,
Bermulut muncung!

Busung pasung ku tanggung,
Canggung bingung ku lambung,
Serong kendong ku gendong.

Tolong...
Aku tak bohong!


I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: Termenung...

June 24, 2009

My favourite blogs

It’s not as glamour as Grammy or Oscar, but it’s equally saucy (at least for me). Ladies, gentleman, boys, girls and those who haven’t decided yet, I now present you the Hidney’s Choice Award; my personal pick for the blogs which I favour the most. You can clap now…

Pengorbanan Sudah Lama Jadi Milikku by Cd
Most of his writings are dedicated for KAMOO. Siapa KAMOO? As mysterious as the writer himself, I can never tell. Cd is a man with little words but with big appetite for movies. Dari filem-filem tempatan ke produksi luar negara, you name it. Bila agaknya Cd akan buat comeback? Kita tunggu…

Kamar Penuh Cerita by Chimera
Give him a pen and a piece of paper, he’ll give you Shakespeare. But don’t be fooled by his all-Malaysian macho-alpha-male looks as he can definitely poke your heart with his soothing and delicate words. Here I will have my healthy daily dosage of wisdom and inspiring thoughts.

Perempuan Jomblo by Ladynoe
Prepare yourself to laugh your lungs out as she’s one elegantly humorous writer. Sometime she makes me wonder, is she for real? Tapi aku suka…

F to the World by F
F a.k.a his alter ego Kak Pidah is like a breath of fresh air, giving me a combination of laughter and clever conceptions. Don’t judge a book by its cover you say? I’ll say, don’t judge Kak Pidah by his insanity!

デロズをブログで (whatever that means) by Diloz
One word… PICTUREPERFECT! Very inspiring… how I wish I can be as good. Tampak serupa dengan gaya penulisan Ladynoe. Bersahaja dan sempoi. Seperti makan gula-gula kapas, ringan tetapi masih terasa manisnya.

The Private Life of… by AZ
I was once an aspired pilot but due to my detestation for turbulence, I’ve decided to plant my feet on the solid ground and be a planter instead. Through this blog by AZ, I can have a sneak-peek of what it’s like to be in a pilot’s pair of shoes…

Darimejastabux by Kash
This is the blog that you can never say no to. Berapa ramai penulis diluar sana yang masih membahasakan dirinya sebagai SAYA? Well he’s one of them. Pastikan anda duduk bersila atau bersimpuh ayu apabila membaca blog ini. Sungguh…

I Am Who I Am by Jane
She can write a 3-words-entry but you can basically know what she’s trying to say. Hmm… how I miss spending my time with her.

I’MNOSUPERMAN: Congratulation…

June 23, 2009

For the first time...

Damai Estate was visited by the good and hot people from the RSPO team yesterday and for the first time in MANY years, I like it a lot. Why can’t they send more hot people to Damai Estate?

I’MNOSUPERMAN: She can visit me, I mean Damai Estate anytime ;b

June 19, 2009

Of nama melayu klasik

My sister is expecting a baby girl in August and she was asking me the other day for a good malay-mix-eurasian name for her soon to be born baby. So I came out with names like Kelly Kenanga and Mawar Maisara. Knowing my sister, she was infuriated, "Eh hello... You are not experimenting with my baby ok. Get one of your own lah and give names like Jonathan Janggut!"

Hehe I will...

Waking up this morning, I felt very much in a delirious mode. I sent a few good-morning-texts to some of my friends and gave them names after a classic-flower-theme malay names...

Jane = Kuntum
Ethan = Kenanga
Babe = Melor
Shah = Anggerik
Amir = Kantan
Awang = Cempaka
Lili = Teratai
Mike = Kemboja
Hassan = Mawar
Din = Raya (Hantu raya)
Zul = Lawang
Franky = Putik
Didi = Tanjung

I'MNOSUPERMAN: And Jane called me Bunga Taik Ayam. How mean... I prefer glamourer Malay Carnation pleeeeease!

Work! Work! Work!

Here I am again, working my ass off when other people are BUSY spending their times with their loved ones or maybe plucking some strawberries in some hills in Cameron Highland. Oh how I miss Cameron Highland…

You see... it’s getting harder for me now to find some good spare time for me to catch up with my books. My books are what shoes to Carrie Bradshaw, “They are my babies. I need to spend time with them or they will be mad at me…”

Well sorta…

I’m definitely not complaining for being in the office, working at odd hours cos I know there are people out there who shares the same tragicomic and have to drag themselves to work at 2 in the morning! My partner is in the airline industry, so I should not be complaining.

But working non-stop from 5 to 5, 7 days a week is way too much for me. Surely enough that will pay me a handsome amount of money but at the end of the day, what will I get?

I always have been dreaming of doing things that I enjoy the most for living. Take the infamous Ian Wright for instance. He travels, he sees the world, he eats, he drinks, he meets people, he plays, he get to be in tv and he got paid for doing all that!

Whay can’t I love my job?

I’MNOSUPERMAN: I'm hunting for a new job... Help?

June 16, 2009

Of Mat Kuntum

What is your favourite song? What is your ‘must-play-song’ when you are driving your black shining convertible down the street? If you are claiming yourself as an Alpha-male, you’ll probably said Sweet Child O’ Mine by Gun N’ Roses. You’ll rather be killed or smashed into pieces for not loosing your balls by saying Never Too Far by Mariah Carey.

LOL!!!

I had this interesting experience once. I was in this male-driven-taxi and Ziana Zain’s Dingin was on the radio, which is fine with me. I have nothing against Ziana Zain you see. I love her. I even lip-synced to it…

But things became weirder as I started to realize that I have to lip-sync to it again… and again… and again… and again… Sesuatu you said? I’ll say he’s a REAL MAN. He is proud of whatever he is. But of course I felt awkward…

I’MNOSUPERMAN: Try to play Balik Kampung by Sudirman on your radio to your neighbour who’ll be working on the first day of Hari Raya. And please, hold on to your balls while doing that.

June 14, 2009

Lets bertanam pokok

Berikut adalah picture-picture yang sempat aku tangkap di sepanjang majlis menanam pokok sempena dengan Hari Alam Sekitar Sedunia di ladangku tempohari.

I’MNOSUPERMAN: I can’t even plant a flower, but yet I’m a planter. How?

June 13, 2009

Happy ayah's day ayah

Oh ayah tell me what you've learned,
So that I don't get my fingers burned,
Cos one day,
I want to be just like you.

You're always there to guide me through,
Each step along my way,
Even though I don't always show,
I'm glad that you're around.

Thank you ayah for being there,
And happy ayah's day!

I’MNOSUPERMAN: Saya sayang kamoo…

June 11, 2009

This annoyed and unhappy bugger doesn’t hate you sir

It was the visit that I’ve been expecting since November. I did what I have to do and I’ve prepared myself mentally and physically for it. But come the visiting day, one confused fellow spoiled it all. Saying things that he should not say as to defend his own pathetic ass. Now everyone is in a deep shit, including me. I am talking about my dignity... MY PRIDE!

I was scolded like a 3 year old by my manager in front of everyone. It was fair enough as I know it was my mistake for hiring that ungrateful lower-than-scum brown-nose stupid ass soon-to-be-burnt-in-hell cretin. But I couldn’t take it when my manager started to yap and tell everyone that I was merely a “passenger” in this estate.

“No way sir. How dare you!” I shouted.

Everyone shifted their eyes on me. Gawking with disbelieve that this ever-so-soft-spoken "passenger” has raised his voice to the man that was once his idol. Nah sir… I now present you the drama that you wish you never had. Call me nuts, but I have the history of throwing my laptop to a moron.

You see… I was just defending myself for the thing that I’ve done, not the thing that I don’t do. For all the tears and sweat that I’ve shed for that project. But was I proud for raising my voice?

NO, I DON’T…

Will I regret it though?

NO... I WILL NOT!

I’MNOSUPERMAN: I’m just a chap that is paid to do my job and so is he. So I cannot hate him for that. Buruk-buruk pun, still my manager jugak...

June 10, 2009

All you got to change

So maybe this is not your day and maybe neither was yesterday. But baby you got to see what I see. Tomorrow will be good. I wouldn’t say this just to please you and I would not hold it from you. I know you’ll disagree. But baby dear you've got it wrong.

So maybe this is not the time but time is not on your side. The sooner that you know this the sooner things will be alright. And I don’t claim to understand. All I know is that I’m your man and I get to see first hand that you've got it all wrong.

It’s not the colour of your hair. Not the condition of your skin. It’s not the weight you hope in losing or the crisis that you’re in. It’s not the moody swings you have. Not at all cause that’s just you. There’s nothing you should change but the will to want to…

I'MNOSUPERMAN: You see… There’s nothing you should change but the will to want to.

June 8, 2009

Of Doctor Ting and the Tooth Fairy

Finally that darn wisdom tooth is gone. Well technically…

“Can I keep my tooth doc?”

“What for?”

“I want to put it under my pillow tonight. Maybe if I’m lucky, the Tooth Fairy will reimburse me with some cash.”

“How much will you get?”

“You think?”


Dr. Ting laughed and said, “In that case, you can keep it.”

I’MNOSUPERMAN: I’m freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

June 7, 2009

My theme song

I'MNOSUPERMAN: This song basically will sum it all up. I'm no superman and I'm not planning to be one...

June 5, 2009

Of golfers and their breeds

The Paris Hilton
Melaram bagai nak rak. Dari topi sampai ke kasut, semua kena jenama, kualiti mantap, kualiti hebat. Tapi pukul bola macam haram. Awas kepala, nanti kena bola!!!

The Rabbits
Ini adalah breed golfers yang baru nak berkecimpung dalam sukan ni; handicap 36 KE BAWAH! Kelab-kelab golf tak galakkan diorang ni main kat green. Divot bersepah-sepah!!! Tapi kalau dibagi peluang, they will be the new Tiger Wood in no time.

The Pigeons
Datang main kat green semata-mata nak catch-up dengan member. Banyak isu yang nak dikongsi. Siapa menang kejuaran ni. Siapa menang kejuaraan tu. Siapa tidur dengan siapa… Kecoh! Kepoh!

The Snob-Pro’s
… Punya handicap di bawah 10. Permainan super hebat. Biasanya jadi perhatian golfers lain bila duduk di Club house. Tapi sombong nak mampus. Tak pandang pun golfers lain. Nanti kalau mati, jalan sendiri ke kubur!

The Tualas
Diorang ni bukan tak pandai main, tapi kurang pandai sikit. Biasanya diajak main sekadar untuk memenuhkan ‘korum’ jer. Dan selalunya akan kalah dalam game dan terpaksa belanja yang lain-lainya minum lepas tu. Dalam erti kata lain, diorang ni jadi tuala basahan jer. Kesian kan?


The Ironman
Tee-off dari Hole 1 ke Hole 18th, langsung tak pakai Wood. Semua pakai Iron jer. Bila ditanya, jawapannya mudah. “Tak reti pakai Wood.” I have nothing against them, cos I am one. Hahaha…

I’MNOSUPERMAN: Jom main golf…

June 4, 2009

Of jenama cap ayam

Branded goods? Ahh yes... it’s a medium that shows one’s status. Whether you are the real thing or just plain wannabe, you will love branded goods. The louder the brand name, the more it screams “Attention! This chap has a fat bank account. Look at him! Look at him!!!” and boom… suddenly you are the new Robert De Niro. How cool is that?

Let say you’ve worked your ass off and manage to earn a few million. You bought a brand-new-originally-made-in-Swiss Rolex for your girlfriend. She thrilled and gave you THE BEST SMOOCH you've ever had. She paraded it around and the next thing you know, she came back with THE BEST SLAP you ever had. “You cheap skank! You bought me a fake Rolex. Even my window cleaner got one!!!”

You see… it worth nothing. So don't give your girlfriend a Rolex, even if it's ORIGINAL!

I had a long and fun discussion with Ms. Tumpikangus last nite and she claimed, “I will go for a Bonia instead, sebab tak banyak kat Petaling Street.”

Very clever…

I’MNOSUPERMAN: It’s the attention we seek, and we’re loving it!

June 3, 2009

Freedom...

I lift my arm and let it fall. My action seems to me free; but asking myself whether I could raise my arm in every directions. I see that I raise it in the direction in which there is least obstruction either from the things around me or from the construction of my own body. I chose one out of all the possible directions because in it there are less obstacles.

... For my action to be free, it is important that it should encounter no or less obstacles.

I'MNOSUPERMAN: I chose my way...

June 2, 2009

Hujung minggu yang sangat panjang…

… Gawai. Semuanya disebabkan oleh Gawai; perayaan tahunan usai-menuai padi kaum Iban di Sarawak. Tak perlu aku terjemahkan lebih lanjut di sini. Anda boleh Googlekan di internet. Boleh kan?

Dari satu buku ke satu buku aku belek. Tak satu pun yang membangkit minatku. Bermundar-mandir di dalam rumah (separa bogel… siapa tahu kecuali Tuhan) mencari ilham untuk 16 jam berikutnya. Ciss… kalaulah aku punya kereta, sudah jauh perjalananku. Brunei mungkin?

“Dah mamam?” Sms ringkas si dia membawa aku kembali ke alam nyata. Ahh... aku belum sarapan lagi. Atau mungkin terus saja aku masak untuk makan tengahari? Lebih mudah begitu. Tapi mahu masak apa?

“Baru nak makan… Bosan.” Butang 'balas' ku ketik di telefon canggihku.

Ok, nak masak apa?

Ayam kicap? - Sudah terlalu sering…
Ayam goreng bodoh? - Ah, bosan!
Ikan masak sambal? - Bawang dah habis.
Sotong kicap? - Kicap lagi kah?

Meggi ayam? - Canteek!!!

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.
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I’MNOSUPERMAN: Merindu keretaku…
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