AKUBUKANSUPERMAN

January 30, 2009

Marley & Me; the review


I bought this book sometime in November last year. I didn’t manage to complete my reading until I saw the trailer of its movie version on tv a few days ago. As I was tempted to compare both versions, I resume my reading and this is my review on Marley & Me, so far…

Marley & Me is John Grogan’s very own true story, dedicated to his Marley the dog a.k.a Grogan’s Majestic Marley of Churchill (as what John used nicknamed him), the world craziest dog. John and his newly wed wife; Jenny adopted Marley as to prepare them for a greater responsibility in raising their own child and facing the toils of future parenthood. Dog = child??? Now whose great idea is that anyway?

Anyway… Marley is not a typical Labrador retriever. He scared of anything that is louder than a popping champagne cork, he is too “happy” and he failed his obedience class, miserably. He drank out of toilet bowl and he has a thing for mangoes. Nonetheless he was loved and treasured till the day he died. Make sure you have lots of tissues while reading it and be prepared to laugh your lungs out at the same time. It’s a good book. Bookworm or no bookworm, you’ll enjoy the book. I am so looking forward to watch the movie.


I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: I used to have 3 puppies; Clover, Cheeky and Stuwie.

January 28, 2009

Of football and me

It was 2003 when I first played football... For real! I have always been a kaki bangku with CAPITAL K! I enjoy watching football. I really do... But to engage myself into one, I don’t think so. However that thought changed when Tuan Malik (the one with a moustache in the pix); my manager back then, asked me to play thus representing my estate for an inter-estate match. “You have to play. I know you can do it.”

For the good sport of it, I accepted my his challenge. Ok ok I lied... Actually I don't dare to say no. Obviously because of the moustache you see...

And so I played. It was one of the most awkward moments I ever had. Running around without any apparent reason across the football field, most of the time avoiding the ball instead of trying to kick it. “Woi!!! Kejar bola tu. Kejar bola tu!”

“I am glad you played Hidney. But go get the ball next time ok.” My manager patted me on my shoulder after the game. We lost the battle but I won the challange. Yeay me!!!

Last Saturday, I represented Damai Estate for Piala Sime Darby 2009. I was actually looking forward for it. And know what? We won by 3-1. Of course I was not the one who scored it. Duhhhhh!!!

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: 55 is the number on my jersey. Why 55? I'm not telling you why. Go and Google it...

January 26, 2009

Yet again!

I’m part of the statistic again.
I’m not proud of it.
Not at all.
I’m just grateful I’m still alive!

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: I should have stayed in that night...

Gong Xi Fa Chai!!!

Happy happy happy Lunar New Year people. Unleash the Golden Bull spirit in you and have a kick ass 2009!

Oh yes, don’t Ang Pou and drive yeah. What ever that means…

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: Give me my Ang Pou already!

January 23, 2009

Of bad hair day

I went for a hair cut the other day,
I asked for my favourite hair stylist,
But he was not around,
So I asked for anyone,
“Anyone will do, cause I am in a hurry.”
…Which happen to be the worst decision I’ve ever made.

Snip snip snip…
He was good with his hands,
Damn good!

Very good!
But I am not…
Good in maintaining my composure,

Whenever people play with my hair,
I tend to fall asleep,

And so I did...

The next day,
I realized,
My hair look ugly,

I look ugly,

I am ugly,
But my ugly hair make me look uglier.

And so I took the liberty,
To ‘repair’ it myself.
And that soon became my second worst decision I made!
Damn it, damn it, damn it!!!

I cut it all short,
Very short,
Too short in fact,

There goes my signature jambul,
My precious jambul.
People started to ask,
“What happen to your hair?"

"Why the sudden change?”

Hmmm...
"Don’t ask."


I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: I miss my hair...

January 21, 2009

Visit round two

I had my second and last PA visit today. And know what? The sky was blue. I was hoping that it will rain, but I guess I didn’t pray hard enough.

I told you... The sky was blue.


This is our supervision vehicle. The one that I drove straight into a big lubang the other day. I don't do manual gear transmission OK!


Cairil and his flood thingy. Semalam hujan the whole day, so hari ni banjir lah.


I take your pix, and you take mine. Hows that? He's my manager peps.


He is either mabuk or stupid. Rasakan!!!



He is our Plantation Advisor. And he plays golf too.


Apa-apa pun, keselamatan kena jaga...


This is me looking worried. Ever wonder how will I look when I'm scared?


Yes it's 9 am. The time I'm going to wake up tomorrow. Merdeka!!!

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: Tak banyak problem sangat visit today. See the leg lah jugak kan? Esok nak tanya pasal cuti dengan bos lah!

January 20, 2009

Visit visit visit!!!

Once in every 6 months, everyone in the estate will have to work extra hours and be on top of their games. It’s the Plantation Advisor’s (PA) visit. Forget the vacation plans or golf tournaments for that matter, this PA visit will determine the life and death for every Plantation Executive… well literally.

I had mine today. Everything went fine except that it was raining all the way. The tiring walks in the site were substituted with question and answer session in the supervision vehicle. Well thank God for the rain!

1 more visiting day, and I shall be free for the next 6 months. And for the first time, I really really really hope the rain will not stop.

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: I wanna make sure this visit is a success. Senang la nak minta cuti…

January 19, 2009

Show 'em your tits and come back stronger, The Anugerah Juara Lagu saga

Deras hatiku berdetar
Di langit aku terlihat kamu
Terang malam teman kita
Dengan angin meniup sayu
Ku petik gitar akustik ini
Dengan harapan dia mendengar
Melodi indah yang ku cipta
Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya
Dan aku terus
Menyanyi lagu ini untukmu
Walau berjuta mendengar
Lagu ini hanya untukmu
Arah hidup kita
Digambar bintang di angkasa
Dan berkelip melukis cinta
Terciptalah lagu kita

The 23rd Juara Lagu last night was surprisingly good! I can never ask for more. In my personal opinion, THE performance of the night was that of Faizal Tahir’s Sampai Syurga. He really came back strong after the banning drama last year for showing his tits on the national tv. Bravo superman!

Aizat on the other hand… WOW! My foolish heart was taken aback by his ever so astonishingly soothing Lagu Kita. It would be nice to see him winning last night's Juara Lagu though...

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: Now who the hell is Aiman?

January 17, 2009

Retail therapy for me…

Owh God… my work is so killing me these few weeks. I’ve been all over the place and yapping nonsensically from 7 to 7. Now that I am glad those stormy period have gone, I need to reward myself silly over some purchases and food frenzy. Where to go? London is so not going to happen, KL is too expensive, KK is too far, Miri is too err… too tiring to drive to? So I left with Bintulu. Ok lah bah… not too bad what!

I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: Jacket RM210, T-Shirt RM67, Jeans RM171, felicitousness... PRICELESS!!!

January 15, 2009

I'mnosuperman... But I do mumble sometime

Mumble no 1
What is nerd? N.E.R.D as per Poyo or Mat Skema or Mat Belia. I used to be one. Pick up the phone, call my friend and start asking. I don't care!!! Nerd people are not damage. I am not damage. They are not losers. But I might be a loser. People say you should always follow your dreams. What if your dream is boring? Most of our dreams are boring. What if your dream is selling jagung rebus on the road-side? What if you follow your dream and sell jagung rebus on a road-side? People will probably see you as a total failure anyways…

Mumble no 2
"What the hell do you think you are doing? You are not paid to sit pretty. Where's my fucking monthly report? Fuck you!!!" Angry...

"What? You want to fuck me? Where? On this table? Ok. But be gentle. And please use plenty of lubricant as I am not auto-lubricated." Laughing…

Mumble no 3
I have a friend who like to stress on his R in every word he said. You know... Filipino-like. Sometime it's uncalled for. I always make a jokes out of it.

"I'm on my way to your place now. Tell me if you are ready so that I don't have to wait too long." I called him on my cell.

"Ok. I'm DARN." Said he.

"You what?"

"I'm DARN. I am ready."

"Oh you mean you are DONE?"

"Yes... I'm DARN."

"Yeah. You will if you keep on saying that..."


Come people... laugh with me.

Mumble no 4
Don't aim for the top. Aim for somewhere two notches below the top. Having said this, there is no concrete reason for you to kill yourself by hanging yourself for not having making it to the top (unless that you are 150% sure that you are stupid).

Mumble no 5
Even when life is good. It's not always that good. Play solitaire in your PDA and contribute nothing to the world but having fun doing it. Life is like a piece of paper. Crumpled it up and put it on your palm. Left or right doesn't really make any different. Look at it hopelessly and take a deep deep breath. And then say this to yourself, "Life is like this. This is as good as it can get."

Mumble no 6
"Please turn off your cell phones and electronics peripherals as it may interfere with the onboard navigational system."

Please obey this instruction whenever you are flying. It's not a joke. Steward and stewardess aren't funny. But most of them are cute alright. And at lease for once, put aside your Everest-high-ego whenever they do the safety demonstration before take-off. After all it's free and fun to see. I know… you'll probably have this tiny thought in your ego head that other people will see you as kampung who fly for the first time, gawking at the cabin crew like there is no tomorrow as if the plane will crash and you'll die. Believe me... Being kampung is ok. Kampung people are not that stupid.

Mumble no 7
"Where got? You are bullshitting me!"

"Got lah. You don't believe me ah? I am not bluffing one. If I am lying to you, you can always fuck me on the table."

"Sin jing ping (crazy) lah you!!!"


Mumble no 8
I went for a fancy dinner one day in this fancy hotel. I ordered a greedy Australian Sirloin Steak from this long-faced-I-am-so-angry-and-you-don't-want-to-mess-with-me waiter. I was asking, "Could you describe this for me?" I forgot to say that PLEASE word. I was not planning to but it was intended.

"We have a selection of small, medium and large portion of steak just for a mere RM48. It's on promotion." He said in a well rehearsed All-American dialect.

"What is so promotional about it? What if I order a tiny portion, I still have to pay RM48? What if I order the largest portion that you can offer me, I still have to pay you RM48? You must be kidding me." I said in a not so well rehearsed Manglish (Malaysian English), of course in the sweetest well-educated, well-paid and down to earth fashion.

"Let me check with my captain." He said and leave. A few minutes later, he came back and sheepishly apologized. "I am sorry sir. Actually we have a selection of rare, medium rare, medium well done and well done steak, drizzled in exquisite mushroom or black pepper sauce, served with a delightful arrays of vegetables and mashed potato. And it's no longer on promotion."

Hmmm... I should have guessed that. There goes your tip, flying out of the window.

Mumble no 9
"What do you get when you put your scary eyes in the dark?"

"Dunno lah."

"Eye-scream lah you idiot. You are such a towel.

Mumble no 10
Work… What the hell is work? Well work is something that can earn you some amount of money, which you can use to pay your bills or put food on your table. And you can always spend some of it to buy flight tickets and scream excitedly like nobody's business in Genting Highlands.

I am still wondering whether the job I have now is my dream job. I don't know. All I know is, I woke up early in the morning, yapping around and giving blank instructions to my workers, signing some purchase orders, flipping some memorandum of agreements which the contractors are not even bothered to read through, reading some shitty reports and sitting all day long in my office and pretend busy in front of my laptop and surf through the internet, helplessly searching for Paris Hilton's home-made porno video. I might consider of selling jagung rebus on a road-side now… Tamat!

I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: Mumbling is fun...

January 14, 2009

Classified; Junior Advisor

Someone is needed somewhere! It’s an opening for Junior Advisor for CIMB Wealth Advisors Berhad. The candidate should posses the following criteria.

Male
21 and above
Minimum SPM
English literate
Success driven
Independent
Highly motivated
Ass kicker!!!

Successful candidate will enjoy awesome rewards and commission, overseas trips (twice a year mind you) and above all the chance to brush shoulder with many. Interested? For further question and answer, please link yourself here. Gooooood luck!


I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: How I wish I have my own yacht

January 13, 2009

God bless you pumpkin

“Achoooo!!!”

“Aiyooo pity thing. God bless you.”


The weather has been amazingly bad and unjust. Plans are revised, arrangements are altered and blessings are given; to those who sneeze that is. Achoooo!!!

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: I so need a hug right now...

January 12, 2009

Of Plantation Advisor's visit and being important

January 2009… It’s gonna be one hectic month I tell you. Our Plantation Advisor is coming and OSH people too. Today, those of TQEM will be coming. I hate visits. I always do. How I wish I am somewhere else right now. Morocco maybe…

This anxiety reminds me of my first Plantation Advisor (PA) visit sometime in 2003. It was my second week in Lavang Estate and stories about this PA serenaded by my colleagues and staff.

“Owh God… he is so garang you know.”

“He’ll kill you if you can’t answer his questions. He is a man with many questions.”

“Puji him a bit. He likes that.”

“He is a dragon. He breathes fire!”

I started to imagine things and I became mentally upset over some possible misfortunes that I will encounter or do for that fact.

“You should read the Agriculture Reference Manual. It’ll help you during the visit. Believe me.” My manager told me.

“May I be exempted from the visit sir? I don’t think I am ready.”

“Sure. No problem.”

“Really? So I can be exempted from the visit?” I was so happy right then and there.

“If you think you are not important, so yes you can always be exempted from the visit.”

Ouch!!!

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: Of course I join the visit. I am not a passenger. And that PA was not a dragon after all...

January 10, 2009

Can you spot the NOT?

I was waiting to board my flight the other day when suddenly I saw something "fishy". Now, can you help me to spot the not? No points will be awarded though...

I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: Penantian itu suatu penyiksaan? At least you can play with yourself while waiting. But don't try it in a public boys...

January 9, 2009

World oh world

What is happening to the world today? Do we need another war to fight for whatever we are fighting for?

I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: What's the worth of all this?

January 8, 2009

Back to school story

Remember those early school days when we were in white shirts, blue shorts and long socks? I do and it was back in 1988. I was so happy the night before my first day that I keep on asking mum stuffs about my new school, friends, how my new teacher would look like and, “What’s my name mum?”

“Your name is Hidney Wahid dear…”

I thought it was the longest night ever. I keep on waking up and checking the time. I was actually worried that I’ll be late for school as dad use to say things like, “You don’t want to make your teacher upset by being late to school. He’ll make you do push-ups and you’ll be caned too.”

Ouch!

It was only 5.30 am and I was already wide awake. I took my first morning shower and it was freezing cold. But I was cool. It’s my first day to school!!!

“What if I want to pee?” I asked dad.

“You should say something like this. Excuse me teacher, I need to go to the toilet.” Said he.

“What if I just say I need to pee?”

“Then you’ll be caned!”

I saw a lot of kids with their parents at the school compound when me and my dad arrived that morning. Some of them were crying. I saw some of the mothers too. Who will be my classmate, I was wondering…

The bell rang 3 times and soon I found myself with some 20 other equally nervous kids in a small classroom filled with tables and colourful pictures. At the front of the classroom, I saw a mid-age man with a very soothing look. “Good morning class. My name is Cikgu Basiri. I’ll be your class teacher. But before we start, do you have anything to ask?”

“I need to pee!”


I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: Happy schooling people...

January 5, 2009

You to me are everything

I was on a song-downloading-frenzy-mode yesterday and I came across this song which triggered a sudden saccade in me. Its an oldies with a very catchy title, took my clumsy little heart straight away. Oh boy… it will definitely be my 2009 anthem.

You to me are everything

I would take the stars out of the sky for you Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to
I'd do anything for you your wish is my command
I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand

Words cannot express how much you mean to me
There must be some other way to make you see
If it takes my heart and soul you know I'd pay the price
Everything that I possess I'd gladly sacrifice

Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing oh baby oh baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down oh baby oh baby

You give me just a taste of love
To build my hopes upon
You know you got the power boy
To keep me holding on

So now you got the best of me
Come on and take the rest of me oh baby

Though you're close to me we seem so far apart
Maybe given time you'll have a change of heart
If it takes forever boy then I'm prepared to wait
The day you give your love to me won't be a day too late

I'MNOSUPERMANLAH: I listen to N'Sync. What's wrong with that?

January 3, 2009

When did you started to blog?

That was the question my sister asked me when she called the other day. She was surfing the net, updating stuff that needed to be updated (since 1974 that is) and she stumbled upon my blogspot.

“Blogging? You? Since when? I mean seriously… you should put some bunga a bit you know. Your page is too rigid and pakcik-like. And what’s with the semi-naked chicks?” she said. (Refering to my christmas banner)

“You got married and live in a cave. That’s why. It is guy’s blog for cry out loud! Cannot put flower one. And there’s nothing wrong with the chicks. It’s Xmas OK!”

She hung up…

Hmmm… When did I started to blog? Well,
I started to blog when I was 10. Na’ah… was kidding bah!

I love to read. I do… I read to people’s scams, night terrors and Grand Guignols and I got addicted over it. Everyday, I surfed to my favourite blogs, which I've bookmarked for my regular fix. E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y!

After a while, I started to leave my trace of thereness by leaving comments on every blog that I read and that temptations became greater each day. I can see people were actually replying to my comments. Excited? Hell yeah!

Anonymous said...

Hmm... kes lazim cinta 3 segi ni. Disini mencintai yang disana, bila disana tidak tahu yang disini mencintainya. Lantas yang disini mencari cinta lain yang tidak dirasakan sehebat cintanya pada yang disana. Sebagai tambah rasa cerita, yang disana sebenarnya telah mulai menyayangi yang disini namun gagal untuk meluahkan rasa hatinya dengan lebih konkrit. Masa berlalu, bila hati telah runtun, yang disana memerlukan kehadiran yang disini untuk keselesaan. Peluang untuk yang disini mencari cinta asli, lantas meluahkan isi hati yang selama ini tersimpan. Aduh... sebenarnya yang disana telah kasih pada yang disinun. Langsung membuat hati yang disini punah untuk ke sekian kalinya. Yang disinun lebih memerlukan yang disana, sedangkan yang disana sebenarnya lebih memerlukan yang disini. Hati kecut dan rasa takut yang disana sebenarnya telah membataskan hubungan cintanya pada yang disini. Sekian... pening? :)

Mr smith
Commented on LETmeLETgo at www.nasik-lemak-umi.blogspot.com

Then somewhere in May 2007, I decided to plunge in and give it a try. I want to write stuff of my own and playing with my own imaginations, and hoping (really hard) that someone will enjoy reading it. Of course the first entry will always be the lamest. But I soon find my niche back.

I am currently on my 124th entry and I am not going to stop anytime soon. But one thing for sure, I'm not gonna put any flowers in my blog. PERIOD!

I’MNOSUPERMANLAH: I met a lot of amazing people through blogs
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...