AKUBUKANSUPERMAN

September 23, 2010

In term of this... In term of that

Ni satu lagi story lama. Saja nak kongsikan balik sebab hari ni, pagi-pagi lagi aku dah kena tiau pasal aku punya English. Ironically, ceritanya hampir sama. Cuma tak serupa jer...

“Hidney. Tolong taipkan surat ni. Ni draftnya. Fast fast!” Katanya. Dengan penuh urgency dan dedikasi aku start menaip.

Tap tap tap…


5 minutes later I came out with this, and some pride too...

In respond to your letter dated 25th November 2008, I wish to apologise for the incommodiousness caused from the water supply hold-ups lately. There have been some electrical conundrums to the water pump’s control panel and corrective actions have been taken to overcome this problem.

“Eh… kau pakai bahasa aper ni Hidney? Sepatah haram pun aku tak faham. Kau kena faham IN TERM OF maksud aku dalam note tadi. Kenapa nak tukar ayat-ayat aku?”

"Err it's English Sir." I said, not blinking a bit of disbelief.

“English? Kenapa aku tak pernah tengok pun IN TERM OF penggunaan ayat kau ni? Kau pakai kamus apa? Kau sekolah kat mana?”

"Kamus Oxford dan UiTM Kota Samarahan Sir."

“Aku pun budak UiTM aper, tapi kat Johor. Kau ni buat aku sebagai ex-UiTM malu lah! Kau perlu improve IN TERM OF English kau ni. Bahasa tunggang-langgang! Anak aku pun boleh karang surat yang lagi bagus dari ni.”

"But Sir... I..."

“Hidney… Kau faham tak IN TERM OF English kau ni? Boleh tak kau jangan banyak cakap dan tolong taip balik surat ni. Kekalkan IN TERM OF ayat aku tadi. Betulkan IN TERM OF grammar kau yang entah apa-apa ni. Lepas ni kau pergi town dan beli surat khabar English banyak-banyak. Pergi baca dan belajar IN TERM OF penggunaan ayat dia. Paper kat office ni aku tengok aku sorang jer yang baca. Korang langsung tak sentuh pun. Dah pandai sangat ker apa?”


"Sorry Sir. Saya akan repair..." Aku berlalu dengan muka toya.

Tap tap tap. 30 saat kemudian...

Merujuk kepada surat anda yang bertarikh
25 November 2008, saya ingin

“Apa ni? Kau perli aku kah Hidney? Kenapa tak tulis dalam English?”


Aku dah merajuk dah. Tak kuuuuuuuuasa. Paper apa yang dia baca yang pakai IN TERM OF banyak sangat tu? In Term Of Tribune kah?

AKUBUKANSUPERMAN: Cermin di cipta oleh tuhan untuk melihat imbasan diri. Ianya juga dicipta untuk digunakan oleh orang yang tak sedar diri. Sekian terima kasih...

20 ulasan:

miezi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hidney said...

hahaha... telinga dah dipekak kan, mata dah dibutakan, hati dah dihitamkan. tak tau nak buat cam ner lagi

Ted Baker said...

Hahaha. Entah hapa2.

Shekinah Jane said...

stupiak boss...at least my boss when she corrects my english...she is ALWAYS rite...why? she has been a hournalist for NST for 25 freakin years....damn damn damn...cannot cheat her...

Hidney said...

teddy... lepas ni nak gi town la. beli english paper banyak. so that i can imrprove IN TERM OF my english. what say you?

Hidney said...

babe... you are right. mun nya english betul dan kacak tek sik la hal. tauk-tauk nak komen english org. i know there might be some grammatical error la, but at least i dont do IN TERM OF around the clock. susah ada bos nok pandei gilak cam tok. cuba you dtg sitok dan tukuk palak nya babe

F said...

LOL!

;P

only +RIZAL+ said...

mesti la xmau ader org lain lg bongga~
kne la ketepikan segala ancaman yg ader~
sabo yer~ truskn usaha!

[danial][ma] said...

hej! hidney...of course la IN TERM OF your words selection and IN TERM OF your language puzzled him...hahahahhaa...and IN TERM OF everything you should listen to him to buy and read more English papers IN TERM OF TO improve your English so he can understand your English...hehehehehe...well, IN TERM OF that he is really IN TERM OF kinda gut...hahahaha...;-) speechless...

Hidney said...

F... LOL jer tak cukup actually. zahirnya nampak marah ni... tapi deep inside, hati macam digaru kelucuan. mcmana dia boleh nak kata his english is better than mine? katanya "incommodiousness" tu tak ada dlm english. hampehzzz

Hidney said...

rizal... usaha akan diteruskan walau apa pun dugaan IN TERM OF tohmahan2 itu hehehe

Hidney said...

wow danial... you are good IN TERM OF your advices. i will take each one of them into consideration IN TERM OF to improve my english. but for the time being, i'll try to obey his instructions IN TERM OF anything else. hahaha...

everyone say IN TERM OF. c'mon i can't hear you. one more time people... IN TERM OF!!!

kin said...

in term of the bombastic words used... A+

:D

W. Hidney said...

kak kin... biasa2 ajer la ngeeee

jejaka anggun said...

in term of cara dia marahkan u mmg lah in term of unnecessary kan but in term of english u yg bombastic tuh mmg buat in term of kepala dia hangin satu badan kot? in term of la...

hmmm....


ps: i turned off!

JUSTRIEZAL said...

hahhahahahahaahah giler lawak post ko kali nie...aku baca ok jer ayat2 yg ko dok taip pasal surat yg boss ko sruh taip tu...giler pelik aku ngn bos ko nie...x abis2 in term ..in term...sabo je ar bro...

k.e.r.i. said...

what in-term-of fucking boss like that?

bwahahahaha!

W. Hidney said...

shaz... in term of macam tu la agaknya kot. i pun dah turn off dah

riezal... memang bos aku ni pelik ngeee

keri... hell yeah!!!

Pak Guard Kedai Thailand said...

Abang u have to be an arsehole IN TERM OF getting to be the top or atleast good in IN-TERM-OF-ENGLISH english,( or should i just put language, cox am not sure about the terms!! ) .. sejarah sudah tertulis.. and the story has been passed along IN TERM OF how an ARSEHOLE boleh jadik boss..

And the Story About "Professional Arsehole" IN TERM NYER go like this!!! *Based On A True Story..

One day, all the different parts of the body had a meeting to discuss who should be the boss.

The brain said it should be the boss because it did all the thinking.

The eyes said it should be the boss because it did all the seeing.

The ears said it should be the boss because it did all the hearing.

The mouth said it should be the boss because IN TERM OF Speaking The Best of British and that is English-English. erk!! English Language to be precise!

The tongue said to the mouth "hang jangan nak perasan" and dia dia patuit jadi BOSS!! because without it the body would not be able IN TERM OF talking or taste any of the food that MOUTH ate.

And so the debate continued with the hands, feet, fingers, toes, neck, clitoris and all the other parts of the body arguing IN TERM OF their case as to why they should be the boss. And the debate went on dari the best of British sampai masuk loklaq nya Utara without any consensus until the arsehole butted in (pun intended) and argued that it should be the boss.

There was a moment of total silence after the long hingaq bingaq, boleh habaq senyap sunyi sat dunia, (Jantung Rakyat malaysia Terhenti~ tag line iklan 2 ALAM) before all the parts of the body rolled on the ground laughing uncontrollably. “You can’t be the boss,” they replied together gether. “IN TERM OF You are just an arsehole.”

This made the arsehole very angry and it clammed up and refused to open. Nothing could enter the body through the arsehole, not even a the last nasi kandaq kapitan street that MOUTH ate last friday. More importantly, nothing could leave the body and after 2 week IN TERM OF that the brain became mushy and could no longer think. The eyes became watery and could no longer see, kelabu asap!. The ears became zingy soon will be tuli and could no longer hear. The mouth, tongue, hands, feet, fingers, toes and whatnot all became weak ketaq habih depa!! and clitoris could no longer function properly!! hihihi loklaq!! =P

By the 4th day of 4week IN TERM OF sepurnama yang sudah berlalu the body was at the point of death and all the parts of the body relented and agreed that the arsehole should be the boss. The arsehole had clearly proven that it was the most superior part of the body.

From that day on the arsehole became the boss and ruled over the entire body and proudly claim itself Beyonce - Girls Who Run The World.. and this proves uols do not have to be smart to become the boss. You just need to be an arsehole. And World is living testimony to this doctrine that only arseholes can become the boss.

Pesanan Moral Utk Kengkawan ~ Being an asshole is all about the power!! tapi perlu ingat pepatah ingeris ada menyebut "Even Arseholes Have Bad Days" dan pesanan ringkas untuk all the bosses ~ stop being an arsehole pls.. we need a leader not a pain-in-the-ass btw boss!!


*Girls, we run this motha (yeah!) x4..GIRLS!..

Who run the world? Girls! x4
Who run this motha? Girls! x4
Who run the world? Girls! x4

=P

W. Hidney said...

Pak guard... Wow that was a bit too long but somehow i like it. I guess i can conclude, all that are somehow related to what is happening now, in our land. The head, the mouth, the fingers and all. Everyone wanted to be a leader without knowing that they are incapable of leading without the help of others. At the end everyone became an arse hole and pain in the arse. Then that was the time we can see stupid idealogies and not to mention idiotic remarks thrown to the other equally moronic arse holes. And surprisingly some non-leaders are too easy to fall for these arse hole and say yes to them. Much can be said and im afraid i will go yada2 and write a comment which worth a new entry. Only god is the supreme leader. Nuff said

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